Tuesday, August 29, 2006


On the way home from Minsmere (when we played the bird word game), I created a visual image for Michael. He recognises a lapwing (the above photo is one of his), but was having trouble remembering the name of it, so I asked him to picture the bird with a cat lapping milk from its wing. The theory being that the weird image would help him recall the name - and it worked, he gets the name straight away now.

And the other night I thought about this and was inspired to do a little drawing for him to make him smile. And here it is. I don't profess to being an artist, but it turned out okay and it amused me anyway.Mark it well, I'll be testing you later.

Also if I mention "pussy licking" I might attract more people looking for porn.

More lost ass

I'm down 1.5lb this week.

I never actually managed to play with Kinetic, but I have done some walking. Plus eating curry on Thursday night.

I do think I look a little less wobbly.

I like this

Get your own here.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

OLTA update

I've lost 2lb this week.

Next week I plan to do exercise! I'm going to use EyeToy: Kinetic which I got at Christmas, and work out 3 times a week, gently at first.

Unlike everyone else, I'm not trying to win this. There's no way I can compete when I can't exercise much because of the achy muscles and pain and tiredness I get from fibromyalgia.

But whatever I lose will help my poor falling-apart body to function that bit better.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Fun Day

So we took Rosey to a "Fun Day" at a local pet shop today. The idea was to raise awareness of hedgehogs and also to sell some of my little knitted hogs.

It turned out to be a nice day. There were loads of dogs, even a dog fashion show. Also stalls with creepy crawly insect pets (such as a funky giant millipede which I got to hold) and snails and such, animal handling for the kids, ferret racing and a sponsored ferret walk. And the usual tombolas, free pet food, guess-the-name-of-the-teddy-bear and so on.

Rosey spent a lot of the day in a cat carrier in the back room of the shop out of the way, and she came out for animal handling and a few other times during the day. She really did attract a lot of interest, with both kids and adults, so many commented about how cute she is and how the spikes aren't as hard as they thought, and I heard a lot of stories about people feeding them, and kids helping them over roads - it's very encouraging to hear that there are some nice caring people out there.

And we sold 22 little hogs, making a total of £47. :)

The highlight of the day for me was the couple from Sheffield who brought their pet skunk, which I fell hopelessly in love with as she was the most gorgeous cuddly thing ever. Her name's Tallulah, and she cost £500! I got to hold her while her owner spoke on the microphone about her, and she spent a lot of the time cuddled into my neck almost asleep - she's just 12 weeks old, bless. I want one. Seriously. And before you ask, she didn't smell, as pet ones have their anal glands removed - a very slight musky odour was all I got, nothing compared to stinky ferrets! They are a lot like ferrets but without the smell and the nippy teeth and the wriggliness. I will have one one day! Enjoy some pictures, but excuse the quality asI took them with my phone.

A slightly gormless-looking woman with Tallulah.

And again.

Me enjoying some skunk love!! Poor tired skunky, she's almost asleep. <3

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Sorry, more sex...

I've had another visit from someone looking for "dog sex". Fantastic, makes me smile when that happens. ;)

Reminds me of an amusing story. Here goes - be prepared to be shocked...

I have starred in a porn film.

Okay, breathe. Because there's more.

It was a fetish porn film.

Breathe again.

This happened a few years ago (about 5 I think, but don't quote me), when a friend of mine (Jon, of the "Warhammer 40k porn" search fame) told me about his desire to make a food porn film, basically involving a girl getting covered in food. Weird, I though, but different strokes for different folks I guess - Jon's a roleplayer, so being a weirdo pervert's just a small step from there.

A while later he'd actually organised it - he'd got cameras, set up his bedroom as a studio (with everything covered in wipe-clean plastic), sent housemate Adam down to the cash&carry for supplies, and booked a prostitute to act in the film.

Unfortunately on the day of the shoot, his ho didn't turn up. And refused to answer her phone.

So he told me about this the next Friday night at the roleplaying club, somewhat disappointed that all his hard (no pun intended) work was going to be wasted, and jokingly asked me if I'd consider starring in his film instead - I wouldn't have to actually do anything sexual, or even get naked if I didn't want - it's just the girl covered in food that the target audience get off on apparently.

It really shocked him when I said yes.

So he lent me a video (Pie Wedgies) so I could get the idea of what we were aiming for, which turned out to be hilarious. And the next weekend we bought clothes and prepared the food (cheesecake mix with food colouring on paper plates, porridge, strawberry and chocolate sauce), and spent the afternoon filming.

Basically I sat there while Jon threw plates of cheesecake (like custard pies) at me, and pretended to be enjoying it. Actually it was fun, in a silly kind of way - not in the slightest bit sexual but in an sort of innocent, childish way. I got naked as far as topless - no-one wants to see my stomach! The cheesecake was actually really really cold so I did enjoy the warm porridge quite a lot when we got to that, but I discovered that chocolate sauce really stings the eyes.

It was an experience, certainly. I got paid for it, and a cut of the profits too. And Jon says I'm a natural, because looking like you enjoy it is the key thing.

And afterwards I imagined the scenario of the three housemates watching the film, and their thoughts.

Steve - "Mmmm, half-naked girl..."
Jon - "Mmmm, half-naked girl covered in cheesecake..."
Adam - "I could have eaten that."

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Today's diet

I've been following the portion guide recommended by Diabetes UK. Today has gone okay. Recommended number of portions are in brackets, actual portions I've had, er, aren't.

Protein (2-3) = 2
Starch (7-14) = 7
Fruit/veg (5-9) = 6
Dairy (3) = 3
Sugary/fatty (less than 4) = 4
Alcohol (less than 2) = 2

Colour coding helps my brain, okay?

Get your pr0n here...

You may remember, in my recent post about Summer, I wondered if I'd get people coming to my blog by Googling "dog sex".

Well I have, already.

My SiteMeter lists a visitor who was referred from a Google search of "sex with dog".

And also two Blogger searches - one for "dog sex" and another for "out door sex".

Bet these people were so disappointed....

Monday, August 14, 2006

Good link

Diabetes UK's menu planner, suggests a sensible eating plan. And you can tell it how much of various foods you eat every day, and it assesses how healthy your diet is and makes recomendations. Very useful.

I've accepted the challenge....

I'm now part of Operation Lose That Ass.

So, some vital info.

I'm 26 years old. I'm 5'6" and 193lb as of last week. I know I should have weighed myself this morning, but I forgot all about it - I'll weigh tomorrow and update. Idealy I'd like to be 150lb or so.

As for pants size, it all depends on where I shop. Officially I'm a UK 20 (US 18) down there, but the jeans I bought from Sainsbury's the other day were way too big in a 20 so I got them in an 18 instead.

I'd like to get down to a 16 so I can buy clothes more easily, and shop in "normal" shops rather than "plus size" ones.

Foodwise, I have to consider my diabetes so I can't cut down carbs. Instead I'm going to cut out unhealthy snacks and eat loads of fruit and veggies instead, and limit cheese and red meat. Also smaller portions of chicken/fish/eggs. A typical day will look like this...

Wholewheat cereal with milk, some seeds/nuts and fruit. 100ml of juice (I can't have more juice than this as it's high in sugar).

Cereal bar or fruit.

Chicken/fish/egg sandwich on wholemeal bread with salad. Low-fat yogurt.

Fruit and handful of nuts.

Small portion of chicken/fish/veggie alternative, with starch (potatoes, wholemeal pasta/rice/bread/noodles, grains) and at least two portions of veggies. Fruit and low-fat yogurt.

Dried fruit.

I'll allow myself the occasional treat of a bit of cake or chocolate or whatever. Exercise is difficult because I feel tired and uncomfortable/in pain with fibromyalgia a lot of the time, but I will make an effort to be a bit more active.

I know, I know...

... you all think I'm obsessed with sex.

I'm not. But this entry does concern sex, and for that I apologise.

It also concerns my dog, Summer. But it's not what you think!

Summer just finished the bleeding part of her season a few days ago, so she's now in the "receptive phase". And recently we had a woman move in next door who has a rather handsome golden retriever dog, Toby. The two dogs have met and made friends, and enjoyed playing together, and now that Summer's so "attractive" she's taken to forcing her way through the hedge into the orchard, then going through the next hedge into next door's garden so she can play with her new friend.

She was whining to go out earlier so I opened the door for her and being distracted, forgot to keep an eye on her.

Two minutes later when she didn't come in when I called, I heard her next door again. I went round to collect her to find them playing, with Toby occasionally trying to mount. And she's such a ho, she was even standing and lifting her tail for him!

Luckily he's been neutered, but he doesn't know that!

Also luckily our new neighbour is very nice and didn't mind Summer being over there - we were laughing about how they seem to have fallen in love, following each other around and Toby licking Summer's ears and face.

I'm a bit annoyed at Summer for ignoring me when I call, but I guess she's just following her instincts so I couldn't shout at her or anything - besides, Toby's obviously encouraging her! We often refer to her as the "ho dog" because she'll roll over and let anyone tickle her belly, and it amused me that now she really is a ho dog.

I suppose the point of me telling this story was partly to see if I get a visitor to my blog who's navigated here by Googling "dog sex". I've had one who Googled "sexy snails", so why the hell not? And a friend of mine says he had a visitor to his site who was looking for "warhammer 40k porn". The mind boggles.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

I watched an episode of The Law of the Playground at the weekend (taped from Friday night, very funny and well worth watching) and masturbation was mentioned. It reminded me of a snippet of conversation I overheard in a shopping mall few years ago.

A group of kids walked past as I was coming out of a shop. It was a mixed group of boys and girls, maybe seven of them, around 12 years old. I didn't hear the context, but the bit I did hear was a girl saying this:

"She can't masturbate, she's a girl!"

I had this almost overwhelming urge to catch up with them and explain. But then I realised how wrong that would be.

It struck me as strange that a young person of that age, old enough to know the correct terminology rather than the playground "wanking" which is more common, should know so little about the actual act itself.

It also scares me. If they lack such basic information about sex then they probably think that you can't get pregnant the first time, or if you do it standing up, or if you're having your period. Or if the boy pulls out in time.

It's about time we sorted out the sex education in this country. Kids are having sex younger and younger these days, and they won't be persuaded not to do it by a lack of knowledge, so we might as well arm them with the information they need to protect themselves from both pregnancy and STIs.

I also think that if sex was discussed openly and explicitly in PHSE lessons at school, girls in particular could be less easily pressured into penetrative sex as they'd know the alternatives, and they would be less likely to fall for the old "If you love me..." argument.

Quite apart from the fact that if they don't know about clitoral stimulation, they're gonna have a much less fulfilling sex life anyway!

Monday, August 07, 2006

More hoggy stuff

Okay, Basil's doing well now, healing nicely (if only he wouldn't keep scratching his face!) and eating properly. Thank goodness.

I'm going to a "Fun Day" organised by a local pet shop on the 19th, and I'm having a stall and taking Rosey. I'll be talking to people about hogs and how to help them and selling my little knitted hogs to raise money for hog rescues. And people will be able to meet a real live prickler.

So I really need to get stuck in making the knitted hogs. I did quite a few at the weekend so I have around 20 ready now but I'm expecting to sell a lot. Why do I have to have 3 exams and an essay to do this week, dammit?

I've been playing around with different colours and combinations (including a red, white and blue one), and last night was suddenly inspired to make tiny tiny ones too. The normal ones are about 3" long and 2" wide, while the tiny ones are just 1.5" long, 1" wide (fiddly to make!) I thought the small ones would make good keyrings, perhaps.

And last night I tried modifying the hog pattern to make a mouse - I'm very pleased at how it turned out. But now my hands hurt. :(

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Panic over

Basil's okay - sorry I haven't updated for a while, been busy.

His head's healing and he's eating a little by himself so we've stopped hand feeding him.

I'm going to try to get a camera on him soon so you guys on Yahoo can watch.

Sorry for the brevity, but I have revision to do!