My eyes are leaking

Ever have one of those days when, although you don't feel sad or depressed, you get all teared up at the drop of a hat?

I've noticed this recently when watching Pokémon (don't even ask, I like it, okay?) - like when May missed the ferry so she wouldn't be able to enter the a competition and win the last badge she needed to be part of the Grand Festival, after all her hard work. It's not just sad bits either, the bits emphasising friendship and trying your best and all, and when they win too - it's like proud crying. Which is a bit silly over a cartoon - I suppose it's less pathetic when it's a "real" programme or a book or a movie or something.

Guess I'm just emotional. Some days more so than others, and I've only really noticed it the last few years - maybe as I get older I have more empathy or something.

I remember shocking some people at a LARP event once when my character's partner/fiancé/betrothed was killed in a skirmish. When I heard about it I actually cried actual real tears and was very upset - well to be accurate, my character Scarlett was upset and cried. Everyone assumed that I was either a) a much better role-player than they thought, or b) really upset "out of character" because the death had messed up my (in-character) wedding plans.

The truth was a little different - I wasn't really acting, I'd simply thought myself into how Scarlett would be feeling and so I genuinely felt the emotion myself. Essentially I was her at the time.

It's a strange one, the fact that so many of us can experience real emotions in response to something that doesn't even exist, like characters in a film or a scenario in a novel. Taking that one step further, I've even had emotional reactions to computer games.

Back when Tamagochis were the toy everyone wanted (late 90s), my brother got one and when he got bored of it after a couple of weeks I reset it and cared for it myself, just to see how long I could keep it alive. Every morning it would wake me up at 7am, which is practically the middle of the night, and I'd feed it, clean it and play with it whenever it was required throughout the day. Luckily my teachers at the school where I was studying for A Levels never noticed it so I didn't get it confiscated (they were banned).

Once or twice I didn't notice that it needed cleaning and I'd look at the screen to find several electronic poos and a very sad creature and I felt quite bad. Then one night, on day 31, I was in the pub and I heard an unfamilar beep. When I checked him out I realised he had "died" and I was so shocked and immediately I assumed that I'd done something wrong. Maybe I neglected him or he was unhappy or hungry... hang on, why was I feeling guilty for something that wasn't even alive? (Remember Brian Connelly? "It's a puppet!")

And my first Sims 2 character, Ria. I built her a beautiful (but cheap, lol) house, directed her to fulfil all her need and wants, helped her with her career and marriage. Then she became pregnant with my first Sim baby and had a rough time of it, always very tired and hungry and needing the loo constantly, and it was such a struggle to co-ordinate her eating and sleeping and so on. She was very near to having the baby when she collapsed on the kitchen floor and died of hunger and I'll admit that I cried over her, even though she wasn't "real" either.

I've discovered recently that there's a whole community of people out there who use the video functions in S2 to create short films - it sounds like a fascinating process and if I ever have the inspiration I may well have a go at it myself.

And now I've come full circle. I saw several of these Sim films last night, one of which made me cry. Have a look here, download and watch the "Winter's Here". If you don't have a lump in your throat the size of a small car at the end, and maybe a few tears, something's wrong somewhere.

Unless I'm just a big old baby.

A promotion

I'd forgotten about this.

We've set up a wildlife forum so we can share pictures and stories and advice about attracting and caring for wildlife. It's at www.sinergylarp.com/wildlifeforum if you're interested in joining us - I've added the link to my sidebar as well.

Some more searches

Because these are amusing.

Enid Blyton's audiobook downloads
bruckner choral "mr bean"
"can't run" "tight skirt"
pergolesi alleluia
"pie wedgies"
"warhammer porn"
I wish to know what is an alternative spice for rosemary
intersex breasts

And these were image searches:

free willy 2
free willy
little penis
hedgehog penis
hog penis
penis hog

There must be some disappointed people out there.

I know, it's been a long time

I'd like to say thanks to those of you who have kept checking back, only to find that I still haven' t posted... thanks for waiting for me!

So a quick update.

I haven't been well for a while. I've had various colds/coughs/sore throats/sinus problems for the last eight weeks or so, and while none of it was bad enough to put me in bed for more than a couple of days I've had no rest from general crappiness. I'm feeling much better now, all I have is a cough which is improving slowly.
Maybe it's the diabetes fecking up my immune system. I've never had a winter like this. At one point I was worried that I had meningitis because I felt so bad - presumably I didn't!

I can't remember if I told you guys that my (other) house sold back in September, so we have some spare cash for work on this place. Soon we'll have a new kitchen. Thank goodness for that, I hate my current one. It's ugly and old and dark and not well designed.

The carol book fundraising has gone very well, I'm pretty sure we have enough money for the books now so thanks to everyone who contributed. You're all stars. :)

I've recently started singing lessons, which although I've only had two so far (being ill I haven't been able to go for a while) I can tell they've made a lot of difference to my voice. My singing teacher is the guy who conducts the main SingSoc choir (the one whose car got stolen) and he really knows his stuff. He says my voice is good and that the only problems with it are things I don't know because I haven't had lessons. I'm working on sight-singing and breathing and supporting the sound in the correct way - it's very hard to change the bad habits I've picked up over the years but it does help so much. And it's fun!

And while I'm on the subject, I'm currently recording vocals for an album my brother is making. It's an exciting project, and although the music isn't really my style (it's kind of folk rock type stuff) it sounds good. It's fascinating to see how the sound changes as different musicians add their parts to the track - we start with my brother's vocals and mandolin part then I write and record the harmony/countermelody, then guitar, drums and bass are added by other people. And by the time it's finished it ends up in a different place to his first concep, but it works. It's certainly an experience.

Probably there are other things, but I forget. If they're important, I'll remember them later.

It's nice to be back. Especially as Blogger has finally decided to let me go Beta.

Please help

For those of you who don't know, I'm a member of the University of Sheffield Singers' Society (SingSoc).

Basically we have three choirs open to staff and students and also members of the public - we focus on singing to a high standard and having fun at the same time. Usually this time of year we're busy singing Christmas carols to raise money for charity.

But this year is different.

Our choir director's car was stolen on Friday night, and along with it the 160 copies of Carols for Choirs that we'd borrowed from the University's Music Department. Neither the director's car insurance or the Music Department's insurance will pay out for the books, which will cost almost £2000 to replace. That's about 2 year's budget.

So we're on hands and knees, grovelling. We already have around £300 which we collected at our last concert, but obviously there's still a way to go yet. Please please donate something to help us, even if it's only a pound or a dollar or whatever you can spare - if enough people contribute we might even get to buy some replacement books before our carol concert!

If we don't raise enough money we won't be able to afford to hire music and concert venues, or pay orchestras. We have an outreach project planned for next year, where we will create a large choir of local kids - we'd have to cancel that. If we can't put on concerts, the Society will go bankrupt. So please help us - I really don't want to lose my choirs.

We've set up a PayPal account for donations, which you can access as follows.

1. Go to www.paypal.com
2. Sign up for a personal PayPal account - if you've used eBay you probably already have one so you can just use that, if not it's pretty easy to set one up. Just click Sign Up at the top of the page .
3. Log In to your account.
4. Click Send Money at the top of the page.
5. In the Recipient's email box, enter singsoc@shef.ac.uk
6. Fill in the amount you want to donate.
7. In the Category of purchase box, select service.
8. Click Continue.
9. Check all the details are correct. You don't need to add your postal address.
10. Click Send Money.

Thank you so much for your help. :)
Anna...x
On behalf of all at SingSoc.