Wednesday, January 17, 2007

My eyes are leaking

Ever have one of those days when, although you don't feel sad or depressed, you get all teared up at the drop of a hat?

I've noticed this recently when watching Pokémon (don't even ask, I like it, okay?) - like when May missed the ferry so she wouldn't be able to enter the a competition and win the last badge she needed to be part of the Grand Festival, after all her hard work. It's not just sad bits either, the bits emphasising friendship and trying your best and all, and when they win too - it's like proud crying. Which is a bit silly over a cartoon - I suppose it's less pathetic when it's a "real" programme or a book or a movie or something.

Guess I'm just emotional. Some days more so than others, and I've only really noticed it the last few years - maybe as I get older I have more empathy or something.

I remember shocking some people at a LARP event once when my character's partner/fiancé/betrothed was killed in a skirmish. When I heard about it I actually cried actual real tears and was very upset - well to be accurate, my character Scarlett was upset and cried. Everyone assumed that I was either a) a much better role-player than they thought, or b) really upset "out of character" because the death had messed up my (in-character) wedding plans.

The truth was a little different - I wasn't really acting, I'd simply thought myself into how Scarlett would be feeling and so I genuinely felt the emotion myself. Essentially I was her at the time.

It's a strange one, the fact that so many of us can experience real emotions in response to something that doesn't even exist, like characters in a film or a scenario in a novel. Taking that one step further, I've even had emotional reactions to computer games.

Back when Tamagochis were the toy everyone wanted (late 90s), my brother got one and when he got bored of it after a couple of weeks I reset it and cared for it myself, just to see how long I could keep it alive. Every morning it would wake me up at 7am, which is practically the middle of the night, and I'd feed it, clean it and play with it whenever it was required throughout the day. Luckily my teachers at the school where I was studying for A Levels never noticed it so I didn't get it confiscated (they were banned).

Once or twice I didn't notice that it needed cleaning and I'd look at the screen to find several electronic poos and a very sad creature and I felt quite bad. Then one night, on day 31, I was in the pub and I heard an unfamilar beep. When I checked him out I realised he had "died" and I was so shocked and immediately I assumed that I'd done something wrong. Maybe I neglected him or he was unhappy or hungry... hang on, why was I feeling guilty for something that wasn't even alive? (Remember Brian Connelly? "It's a puppet!")

And my first Sims 2 character, Ria. I built her a beautiful (but cheap, lol) house, directed her to fulfil all her need and wants, helped her with her career and marriage. Then she became pregnant with my first Sim baby and had a rough time of it, always very tired and hungry and needing the loo constantly, and it was such a struggle to co-ordinate her eating and sleeping and so on. She was very near to having the baby when she collapsed on the kitchen floor and died of hunger and I'll admit that I cried over her, even though she wasn't "real" either.

I've discovered recently that there's a whole community of people out there who use the video functions in S2 to create short films - it sounds like a fascinating process and if I ever have the inspiration I may well have a go at it myself.

And now I've come full circle. I saw several of these Sim films last night, one of which made me cry. Have a look here, download and watch the "Winter's Here". If you don't have a lump in your throat the size of a small car at the end, and maybe a few tears, something's wrong somewhere.

Unless I'm just a big old baby.

1 comment:

  1. sometimes its good to just let it out and have a good howl! Just make sure you have some ice, swollen puffy eyes never look good!